Hello

author : sanger ( tom hodge ) E hello B/D# welcome to my show D Dsus2 i’m glad that you could come A we’re gonna have a hoot D B/D# E we’re gonna have some fun [ notes A3 B3 D3 G3 B3 D3 ] E sit back E/D# put your feet up and rela x D Dsus2 i hope you’ve had a drink or three A the more you’ve drunk D B/D# E the better ill ever be A and if you have a mobile phone Am please turn it off E thank you A and if you have tourette’s syndrome Am E just do whatever it is you people do F# A and if you are offended by strong language or blasphemy E A B E maybe you should chuff off home A E cos it’s only gonna get worse A E only gonna get worse A only gonna get worse E from now onc * * t [ notes E2 F#2 G#2 ] A my name is tim D A i write funny songs and sing A B E7 and if you don’t think funny songs are funny A well i respect your right D A to think exactly what you like A E7 A but you’re sure as shit not getting back your money Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E and if you write for a newspaper i’d just like to say D Dmaj7 A E/G# F#m F#m/E that i read your publication every single day Dmaj7 B C#7 F#m and i agree with absolutely everything you say Dmaj9 B/D i think you’re the most perspicacious and delightful , eloquent , insightful writer A G/A D/A Dm/A writing on the subject of the arts Dmaj9 but if you write a bad review B/D i promise you i’ll come round to your house A G/A D/A Bmb5/A and lay turds in all your potted indoor plants B11 i’ll lay turds! C11 in all your plants! C#11 your indoor plants! your potted indoor plants! F# hello C#/E# welcome to my show Esus2 i’m glad you all could come B E C#/E# F# it’s time for a little audience participation F# sing , "yeah!" ( yeah! ) E sing , "yeah!" ( yeah! ) B sing , "yeah yeah yeah!" ( yeah yeah yeah! ) F# sing , "ooo yeah!" ( ooo yeah! ) F# sing , "i Am an audience member!" ( i Am an audience member! ) E "why are you making me sing?" ( why are you making me sing? ) B "you self indulgent wanker!" ( you self indulgent wanker! ) F# "just get on with the fxxking show!" ( just get on with the fxxking show! ) . . . . . .