National Shite Day

D Am C F , D Am C F D Am C pulling the ice axe from my leg , i staggered on F D Am C F spindrift stinging my remaining eye D Am i finally managed to reach the station C F D Am C F only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down D Am after wondering to myself whether or not it should C F actually be called a train replacement service D Am i walked out onto the concourse C F D and noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with Am C F probably by a junior employee . D Am C F disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal tvm D Am C involving a tug - of - love custody battle; F D Am C F D Am C F stockard channing held sway . D Am C down in the high street somebody careered out of boots F without due care or attention D Am C i suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette F D Am C F D Am C F i . E . sidle out of the store gingerly - embrace the margin . D Am C F D Am C F fat kids with sausage rolls , poor sods conducting polls . D Am C F D Am C F there’s a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in millets . D Am i try to put everything into perspective , C F set it against the scale of human suffering D Am and i thought of the mugabe government C F and the children of the calcutta railways D Am C F this works for a while but then i encounter primark Fm D Am C F E overhead a rainbow appears - in black and white . D Am C F D Am C shite day , i guess this must be national shite day F D Am C this surely must be national shite day F D Am C F ( inst D Am C F x8 ) don’t tell me it’s national shite day . D Am C F D Am C F D Am C F float , float on . float , float on D Am C F D Am C F barry herpes . D Am i got a letter from stringy bob C F "still on suicide watch , screws not happy . D Am C spotted a marsh fritillary during association F D Am C F was roundly ignored; what news you?" D Am i felt sorry for him C F he’d only been locked up for public nuisance offences D Am C one of which saw him beachcombing the dee estuary F D Am found a dead wading bird , took it home , parcelled it up C F and sent it off to the rubber - faced irritant phil cool D Am C F D Am C F with a note inside which read : "is this your sanderling?" D Am C F another time saw him answering an advert in the music press D Am C F "keyboard player required - doors , floyd , etc . D Am C F D Am C F must be committed; no time wasters" - you can guess the rest . D Am C F i’d always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills D Am C F to be found months later , his carcass stripped by homeless dogs D Am C F D Am C F his exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow D Am C F i folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket D Am C F D Am C F all of a sudden i felt brushed by the wings of something dark D Am C F E may the lord have mercy on stringy bob . D Am C F D Am C shite day , i do believe it’s national shite day F D Am C it all points to national shite day F D Am C F E someone’s declared it national shite day . D Am C F D Am C shite day , my birthday on national shite day F D Am C no bog roll , it’s national shite day F D Am C F ( D Am C F to fade ) cue drum roll , it’s national shite day .